I woke up but I didn’t get out of bed instantly. My eyes scoured the vast empty bedroom, my body flinching from the bitter cold. I tried burying my face in one of the pillows in the hopes that it’ll bring me back to sleep, but it didn’t. Instead, I felt around the bed, feeling an empty space to my side. Thoughts lingered for a while. And I could feel someone’s skin had slept here..and here.. and here.
i. When I was in elementary, I wrote an autobiography every time I entered a new grade. That’s about 6. They were mainly things that talked about my name, where I grew up, where I go to school and the things I wanted to be when I grew up. I started to love writing because of that.
ii. When I entered high school, I wrote 4 other autobiographies, all of which were required to be written for my English class. The difference that it had from my previous ones were additional content, like favorite music, an unforgettable memory, and plans for the future. I still loved writing, but I didn’t want to be told what to write about.
iii. College came, and I hardly wrote an autobiography. My professors didn’t want to know anything about me, I thought. I started blogging, and I just started talking about how my days went and some people noticed. It was a reassuring thing to feel, that some people wanted to know more about you. And as I wrote, I feel in love with words and the idea that they give so much to others. No more autobiographies, but my love of writing stayed.
I find it fascinating that some people can speak in different languages and know an entirely different dialect like your brain is just so awesome it can say “Love" in English and in my case say "Pag-big" or "Mahal" in Tagalog and also say "Higugma" in my dialect like oh my gosh how did we come to this brain you is so awesome!
I woke up early today, even if I didn’t have classes. I guess you knew that already. I don’t have anything else to do today other than wait for it to end. My head has been aching since I woke up, I guess it’s because of getting up too soon. I haven’t had breakfast, which I think is adding to this ache. There hasn’t been anyone I know that I can confide my thoughts to lately, so I guess I’m writing to you again. Sorry for making you feel like I only need you when I no longer have anyone to talk to. I’ll try to be more open with you, but right now, I’m still having second thoughts. I guess I still have problems to deal with regarding personal matters. Thanks anyway for being available all the time.
With utmost sincerity,
I wonder if anybody’s actually had feelings for me, like actually got upset or mad over little things I did and got jealous and confused over me and thought about me on a regular basis. I feel like I’m the only person that ever really cares about anyone and that nobody’s ever felt that way for me.
Oh what a night to not be sad about anything! What a night to forget about pain and problems and anxieties and just try to focus on the things that matter as of the moment. Like breathing and typing and just random thoughts because honestly, I haven’t been doing those with utmost appreciation. So, that’s just it, I guess. Forget, breathe. Relax. Cry if need be, but right now, I don’t want to waste tears and time. So yeah. Whatever.
I’ve already made plans to attend the first Junior Philippine Economics Society (JPES) Convention on the 15th of March with my friends. What I’m most excited about is that I’ll be seeing my friends in Tacloban on that day as well. They already set up a date to come to Manila (since the venue will be at UST) on the 14th via land trip and I just can’t hold it anymore. Haha I don’t know yet how many of them will be coming but I still hope that a lot of them will. So all of you Tumbloggers taking up Economics, will you be participating in the Convention? I hope I’ll get to see you there and discuss Economics! Hahaha
I need to finish my papers but I want to do the internet: A novel by me.
Research Problems (Socio 101 chronicles)
I really don’t like writing academic papers. I just find it to be an extreme challenge, having to come up with thoughts and examples that need to matter. Haha that’s why writing personal things don’t really seem difficult for me at times because I don’t have to make such a huge deal about it. I could write an entire post about watermelons but I can’t finish a paper about Social Media in under a day. This is my difficulty, I already know that writing research papers are not my thing and I still match it with procrastination. Great, just great.